Thursday, April 13, 2017

The New Jersey Attitude


We (New Jersians) are called arrogant, obnoxious, rude, crude, brash . . . and more! But we don't care because we know that unless you're from New Jersey, you know how to not care about that. We just don't care what you say about us. We like the fact that you don't want to live here. What, did you think we didn't put all those oil refineries and dumps and broken down warehouses around Newark Liberty Airport for no reason? That's what most people think New Jersey is ... and we like it that way. Do you think we want you to know about all the great secret places there are in New Jersey so you may actually want to move here? Not on your life! (http://www.njattitude.com/)

It took me a while-- in fact, it bogged down this blog for many months, but I'm finally ready to say it: the New Jersey attitude is real, and it sucks.

You know what I mean when I talk about the New Jersey attitude. If you don't, please check out the link above.

I'm from the South, and most people there (even the transplants) are unfailingly polite. They show consideration for others. They smile and wave when they pass others on the street. They say please and thank you. They will offer to let you go first. They don't honk if someone is a half-second slow in getting away from a traffic light. They don't obstruct doorways. They have manners.

Even before I moved to New Jersey I had heard about the attitude there. I was prepared for the rumors not to be true, but you know, I finally had to admit they were.

My impression of New Jersey is that people here tend to be rude-- or rather, more people here are rude than other places I've lived-- yet I don't think it's something as simply as rudeness.There's an element of blue collar dignity involved, and self protection-- a Ratso Rizzo "I'm walking here!" sort of thing-- and an obliviousness or lack of caring about others.

I am of course speaking in generalities. There are certainly rude people in the South and painstakingly polite people all over New Jersey-- theoretically, anyway.

Here's an example from just one trip into the wilds of New Jersey:

Two days ago, when I approached the doors of the WalMart in Butler, two young women with carts and babies in arms were chatting just outside the double doors, managing to block the entire eight-foot front. As I approached they saw me, but did they move aside? No they didn't. They didn't move, didn't acknowledge me. They just kept right on talking. They didn't get out of the way until I politely asked them to, and they seemed mildly resentful at my having had the gall to ask.

I repeatedly found myself in aisles blocked by other shoppers with buggies stopped not to the left, not to the right, but in the middle of the aisles. They had to know I wished to get by, but they continued to examine their cans of Libby's French Style Green Beans or compare different brands of potato chips, making no effort to move their offending carts until I asked them to.  When I did they moved their buggies immediately, but damn it, why did I have to ask?

In one case a shopper approached as I waiting patiently as a woman blocked a display, putting cans into her cart. When she finished and started to move away the shopper darted in front of me. She knew I was next. Fuck her.

Carts were three and four deep at the checkouts, but I was lucky enough to spot an empty lane. I stopped my cart and was reaching into it to place my goods on the conveyor when a grandmotherly woman bullishly pushed her cart in front of me. And yeah, it was loaded to the frigging brim. I was steaming at her effrontery, but held my peace.

As I left the store, guess what? Yeah. A middle-aged woman in front of me stopped in the doorway and began to examine her cart.  Not five feet in front of the doorway. Not five feet past the doorway. IN the damned doorway! Her husband obligingly blocked the rest of the doorway while she dawdled.

To clinch things, after I backed out of my parking space I was unable to move forward because a woman and her prepubescent son were wandering directly in front of me. And what did the idiot behind me do? Yeah, you guessed it-- blew their damned horn!

If all this happened once or twice, or a dozen times over the two and a quarter years I have lived here, I might have thought it just the nature of a few rude and obnoxious people, but it happens all the time. I didn't want to believe it was a Jersey thing, but yeah, it's a Jersey thing.

Of course people in and from New Jersey are nice to me all the time. They do say hello. They hold entrance doors open so they don't close in your face. They do let you go first. But I have to say, I wish some other people would get a clue.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Springtime

Azaleas in Bloom, Mid-March, Atlanta

The nights in New Jersey are finally getting above freezing and the first annuals are poking their heads up through the soil.

Meanwhile, back in my old home in Atlanta, spring has been running full riot for two months. It seems strange for winter to last past the official first day of spring.

When I left Atlanta on January 27, 2015, I was wearing sandals and the top of my car was down. I arrived in Ringwood, NJ just after sundown on the 28th. The top was up and I had changed to closed-toed shoes in Maryland, but I wasn't prepared for the single-digit temperatures and the howling wind; even though I was wearing what I thought was a heavy coat, I thought I would freeze to death before I got the car unloaded.

It snowed a few days after I arrived. The days were below freezing and the night near zero. The snow wasn't going away and a huge ice dam was threatening to take down the gutters. I was shoveling snow for the first time in my life and for the first time wearing gloves and a scarf and a hat when I left the house. I wondered: what have I signed up for.

Happily, the winter of 2015-2016 was mild. We got only one snow, and it went away quickly. I thought we had gotten through this winter scot-free, but mid-March brought a doozy of a blizzard. Snow was above my knees and was on the ground for weeks.

When spring comes to New Jersey, it's pretty. The warmer weather will bring flowers, and I'm happy about that. I just wish they had arrived in February.

Two Years In

Okay, I bogged down on the blog again. It happened when I tried to write a post about the New Jersey attitude (you know what I mean). Perhaps I will write that soon.

The bigger reason was I wanted to spend some time in my new home state before proceeding. Well, I've been here two years now and I think I'm ready to go.

A New Jersey Expert

So, the guy on the right is an expert. And by expert, I mean an expert on everything in a Jersey accent.  Don't believe me? Just ask...